my name Kong

my name spartacus.  it's that time of year when my sisters dress like people from the magic window.  i think i'll go as this dude:

What you think?




p.s. from charlie,

No!

NMN

my name spartacus. charlie's name charlie.  he also has a middle name and i don't.  his middle name is No.  my fambly uses his middle name a lot. i mean A LOT.  "charlie no!" in the morning;  "charlie no!" when they get home.  "charlie! no!" before bed time.

i'm not jealous of him having a middle name and me not 'cause they hate his middle name.  they always say it mad and i'm like, if you hate that name so much then why did you give it to him?

maybe they only use it when they're mad at him for being a puppy.

my daddy really hates that name and he's using it right now. gtg.


p.s.  from charlie,
NO!

oh brother! or chawlee bit my finga!

my name spartacus.  i got a little brother! his name is Charlie as in - boooooorrrrrriiiing!  but he's not boring like his name.  he's either a lot of fun or really annoying, but he's not boring.  but i can't complain cause i picked him...

after Kitty went to kitty heaven (we hope) i was moping around and things weren't the same. so one day my mommy said, "Why don't we go to the SPCA and look at puppies.  Not to replace Kitty - we can't replace her - but now that she's gone she can't be terrorized by a puppy and we were thinking about adopting anyway and my handsome boy [that's me] is sad."

so we piled into the long car and went to the Special Place for Cool Awesomeness.

this place is like the dogtor's office except you get all the smells without the bad stuff and peepole leave your butt alone.  i met a couple of puppies and this one puppy seemed ok to me.

i had to play it cool though, you know? i wasn't sure what was going on and why i was meeting puppies so i left it at sniffing rears and alpha dogging it up a bit.

then after they took that one puppy away my fambly started talking about which one they wanted! i'm like wait, what?! what's gonna happen to me?! is this a trade up for a newer model?! was i only around to entertain Kitty?!

it turns out we were bringing a puppy home with us in ADDITION to me. whew.

so the big puppy came home with us and my fambly started calling him "Charlie"  and the funny thing is he started answering to Charlie right away.

he was really shy at first, but he acts more like a normal puppy all the time and the best part is that now there's someone else for my daddy to yell at besides me.  and next to him i look like a saint.

he's fun to play with, but i have to yell at him sometimes when he doesn't know when to stop. i got someone to yell at! he's my little brother.

                                                            this is me and Charlie

is that my rawhide?! Charlie!! gtg!!!


p.s. from charlie,

life is good! i gotta pee! can i have that?!

goodbye kitty

my name spartacus.  a few days ago my kitty died.  she was a meanie, but i loved her and i'm gonna miss pestering her.  i'm gonna miss her hiss and the way she batted my nose.  i think she kinda liked the attention, but she had to be cool about it.

her favorite peepole in the whole house was my little big sister, Cookie.  Cookie is the one who brought here outta her shell.  she didn't wanna be bothered, but Cookie bombarded her with love until she came around and stepped out a bit and showed us that she could actually purr.

she was extremely old. like 112 or there a bouts.  she was adopted by mommy even before she married daddy back in the olden days before anybody was born.

thank you Aunt Maria for taking care of us while my fambly was away and thank you for the flowers for kitty.  kitty liked you (as much as she was capably of that emotion).

she also went by other names (mrs. cravats; karisa, etc...), but "kitty" is what stuck. and when someone said, "kitty" to her she would say, "meow" cause she liked her name. goodbye kitty. the house is a little less of a home without you here.

                                          kitty with daddy

it's all in the mind (and tummy)

my name spartacus.  a couple of suns ago my fambly was getting all ready to go which they do when they are gonna go somewhere, but this time was different. i could tell they were going somewhere special on accounta my daddy's pants didn't have any holes in them and he wore a fancy leash that hung down the front of his shirt.  My guess was that mommy was taking him on one of his special walks.

so because it was a little different from the norm, i freaked out a little more intensely. i was having a panic attack; i was panting badly and whimpering and hovering around the door nervously and i was desperate to go with and i thought i might hyperventilate and die and hey...is that a hamburger my sister left on the coffee table?

okay guys, be careful. have a good time. bye!

instant friends; just add spartacus

my name spartacus; remember me?  i made some friends! this other day than today my daddy took me with him and my biggest big sister to go to his friend's house.  i never been there before so when we pulled up to the house i didn't know what the deal was.

my car rides usually end up at the park or the dogtor, but i don't really think about that when i get in the car.  the way car rides usually work with me is i jump into the car without thinking (my approach to life in general) and then i don't realize we're goin' to the dogtor until we pull up to the dogtor's house.  then i'm like, "oh."

anyway, so we pulled up to this awesome house and my daddy's friend says hello to me and then we went around back and i meet his dog except his dog is two dogs! i didn't know you could do that! can we do that?!

well we were a little cautious at first, but once we "shook hands" (if you know what i mean and i think you do) we had a great time.  we recognized each others scent on accounta our smells are on my daddy when ever he goes there and comes back so we were kinda acquainted already.  now we had a butt to go with the smell.

the big one is Hank and the other big one is Jiggy.

so now i'm friends with my daddy's friend's dogs and my sisters are friends with my daddy's friend's daughters and my daddy is friends with his friend! it's awesome!

it's a dog's other life.

my name spartacus.  i always forget to tell you about my other life.  all i ever do in this other life is chase stuff and then weird stuff happens to me.  i don't know how i get there and i don't know how i get back, but i know i always switch lives after a good sleep.

sometimes my other life is fun and sometimes it's scary; just like my main life, but i don't spend as much time there and my fambly isn't always there either and sometimes it's crazy there. let me give you an example of my other life.

i'll go to sleep and then i'll wake up in my back yard and there will be a squirrel right in front of me holding my rawhide bone and drinking from the waterbowl chair which my daddy musta put out in the yard for some how.

so i get mad at him for being a squirrel and chase him and bark and stuff and then all of a sudden i notice the yard is gone and we're running down the street and when i catch him it turns out he was just a chew toy and all of a sudden my mommy's van drives past me. so i chase it and bark and stuff.

she stops and opens the door and somehow i'm sitting in the dogtor's office.  then the dogtor turns around and she's a squirrel! she's holding a giant needle and comes at me. i turn to run and see my cat there laughing at me. so i run back home, but i can't see nothing on accounta it's dark all of a sudden. so i stop to look around and when i do, i hear a car pull up behind me and then i hear a car door open and close...

then my eyes open which is weird cause i thought they were already open. i guess i fell asleep again without noticing (that happens to me a lot) cause when i wake up i'm back in the other life and my daddy's opening the front door and i'm so excited to be back i go more crazy than usual.

that other life is crazy and fun and all, but it's exhausting.  i like this side where i can eat and blog and chill out.

Happy Snooze Year!

my name spartacus.  remember when i promised to blog more after the hot summer was over?  remember that?  well i didn't.

since i talked to you last, my fambly grew another tree in the living room.  but i still can't pee on it.  that fat man with the beard broke into our house again. and snow grew.  my sisters get real excited about all this, but i don't get it.  there just ends up being more junk around the house that i'm not allowed to chew on.

today they went around saying, "Happy New Year!" to each other.  i have a theory on this.  they go around saying, "Happy New Year!" cause it's a new year.  they get all excited about this too and i'm just like, "Boooooooorrrrrring!"  

do you know what a new year's resolution is?  well, resolution means: to break a promise. so new year's resolution is like this annual promise breaking ritual for peepoles.

my new year's resolution is to stop licking myself so much.  ")"

pupillon

my name spartacus;  i live in a wonderful little house;  i have everything i need;  i am safe and happy here; my fambly loves me; i love my fambly and i am constantly trying to escape.

don't ask me why. maybe you do it too, but  i'm always on the look out for a chance to make a break for it. most of the time (by "most of the time" i mean always) when i do get out i'm not sure what to do next. so i do what comes natural; i run, pee and smell.

i get out in lots of different ways, but i tricked my daddy good this one time not long ago.  my daddy knows i don't like to go out in the rain.  so when it's raining he's not as cautious about holding open the front door when i'm standing there, right? well he forgot to think like a dog which means to think only one step at a time.

so it's raining and he's holding the door open on accounta my mommy and sisters where goin somewhere.  on one paw it's raining; on the other paw i have a chance to make a complete fool of my daddy. no contest! out i go!

"spartacus!"

like that's gonna stop me.

and what do i do? i run straight into the van my mommy and sisters are getting in because - it's raining.

i'm a dog.

house arrest

my name spartacus.  the other day my biggest sister, Honey, had a friend spend the night. it's always exciting to have a visitor, but not this visitor.  this visitor has a fear of dogs.  i believe the technical term for this is; chomp-o-phobia.

scared of me!  if only she knew me.  but i gotta admit i was a little proud of it too.  but i didn't get to say hello or smell her or anything.

so once again i got punished for crimes yet committed. i was sentenced to an evening in the bedroom. no chance for parole or time off for good behavior.  the warden (mommy) gave me an armed (her right one) escort for my pee breaks.

the thing is, when mommy is in bed for the evening, that's where i wanna be too.  but now that i wasn't allowed out of the room, i really really wanted to get out of the room.  the grass is always greener - especially when there's a visitor!

by the time i was released the next morning it was too late.  the mysterious visitor was gone.  i smelled what i could, but it was no use.

it's too bad she didn't get to meet me.  i'm a good boy. five minutes with me and i woulda shown her dogs are awesome! i woulda cured her for sure!

my name dogtor spartacus!  ")"

a new leash on life

my name spartacus.  during the hot time when the sun gets mad, my fambly lost my leash.  so i went a long time without a walk and i was only able to pee in the back yard.  if peeing on a walk is dog face booking then peeing in my own back yard is like dog my space.  that's no fun.

even when it gets real hot i want to go on my walks. there's pee to smell and places to pee on.

well finally, one day, they came home with a new leash and i flipped out.  i went right out for a walk and peed my tail off!  i peed so much i was walking down the street on three legs. so i caught up a little, posted as much as i could and reclaimed most of my stuff.

i didn't realize how important my leash was until it was lost. i was like a hermit who lost his leash.

i'm gonna drink up and sit by the door. gotta make up for lost time.  gtg!

i got some splainin to do...

my name spartacus.  thank dogness the hot time is almost over.  i can start blogging regular again.

i think i figured out what happened to me from the last time i blogged.  my daddy took me and my cat for a dogtor visit and forgot us there! and the dogtor was like, "well, you're here. i might as well poke you with stuff."

so we were there for days, maybe weeks or years even! until one day i was reverse dognapped.  i was taken home by augie's mom and dad only i didn't recognize them on account a i was given a woozy pill so i was woozy.

well the next morning my fambly came home and they were all happy to see me and acting like they didn't just forget me at the dogtor's for half an eternity! but i was so happy to see them that i forgot too.

so it's all good now.  after all; the only thing that surpasses a dog's sense of smell is our unconditional love.  ")"

A dognapping and then a dog napping.

my name spartacus...or is it?

longest dogtor visit ever! finally going home...

wait a minute! these are not my peepole! you're making a mistake! why isn't anyone listening to me?!
somebody bark k-911!

what's the pill for? i'm being drugged and put in the back of an SUV! help!

i'm feeling woozy.  what is happening to me?!

is this my house? or have I fallen through an inter-dimensional time vortex and find myself in a parallel universe? what other explanation could there be?

i know I'm not dreaming; there are no squirrels.

getting... spleeny....

the Bath party

my name spartacus.  it's the hot time and my blogging slows down during this time cause the heat make me hot.  so i do everything slow,  like blogging.

today my daddy tricked me into taking a bath.  he called me into the waterbowl room using his i just dropped a piece of sausage voice and i ran into the little room with him.  then, like when my parents watch something scary through the magic window, the door closed behind me and my daddy laughed maniacally and the room tilted sideways and lightening flashed through the window... well he did close the door.

let me give you a bath tip; don't fight it.  the less you fight it, the sooner you get it over with.  i just stand there and it's over before i know it and it's really not that bad after you get use to the water.  and at the right moment you can shake and soak your daddy or whom ever the henchman happens to be.  i got my daddy good and after he toweled me off he had to take a bath too.

then my sister let me out and i ran around like crazy. who needs a blowdryer with this kind of speed?! is that fresh poop? gtg!

bite club or b-day showers or new kid in the flock

my name spartacus.  i was taking my afternoon walk mindin' my own business peeing on other peepole's stuff when all of a sudden i hear a door open and this little...thing.. came charging at me!  some new peepole moved into our street and their dog escaped like i do sometimes except i don't go looking for a fight.

he was littler than me and i'm not sure what breed, but i think he used to be white.  he was in need of a bath even for a dog.   just sayin'...    anyway, his bark was bigger than his (slang word for testicles here) cause he was free and wouldn't make his move.  as for me, the alpha male came outta me that i didn't know was there.  i was like a dog Hulk (don't make me angry) and my daddy had to hold me back and yell at me.  i haven't been in a fight since.... no, that was a dream.... wait..... hmmmmm.....ever?  well i was ready to dance and i've had my shots!  let's do this!

but his brother (?) came and got him and carried him away in his arms like a little baby puppy.  pol! (panting out loud)  so that's the almost fight i got into.


it's been a busy time for the fambly lately.  remember it was just Cookie's birthday?  and before that was aunt maria's birthday. well guess what! it was just Honey's birthday too!  i can always tell when it's somebody's birthday cause there's cake and fire and they sing Happy Birthday.  Honey turned 91.  mommy calls this age, "teenager".  mommy is not what you'd call a math magician.

and guess what!  in between my sister's birthdays i had a new human cousin.  my aunt Siobain and Uncle Jason (Augie's parents) had an anomaly - the first boy on my mommy's side of the fambly except for me and Augie, but i don't know if that counts.  i'm very excited for them and i can't wait to smell him!   ")"

birthday Cookie

my name spartacus.  today is my little big sister's birthday!  i can't believe she is 63 already.  just yesterday she was 56!  if i remember correctly there will be cake and i may even be offered a taste on purpose.  i always feel a little bad when i have to resort to stealing....but i get over it.

this morning was so exciting.  My Aunt Maria (gigi's mother - see "sgt yorkie") left surprise gifts and there was singing and everything.  i got excited and grabbed a ball and ran around and jumped on the bed, but didn't get any takers.  they had to get ready for to go and stuff.  that's okay,  i can just chew on this pillow and send a little message...

happy birthday Cookie!  here is a picture my mommy took of my little big sister....

the dog of thunder

my name spartacus. yesterday he came back again; that big dog in the sky who barks and pees on everything. and he peed a lot this time. i'm gonna have to go out and reclaim everything. when the big dog comes, daddy calls it a "thunder storm". he's always making stuff up like that, but it's cute when he tries to understand nature.

the big dog kinda scares me, but i didn't need a pill this time cause daddy brought my sisters home early. if the big dog in the sky goes for a walk and i'm alone, i sometimes try to dig myself into the garage and my daddy gets all bent outta shape about it. what do i look like - a doorknob expert?

i still don't know what the flashing light is all about. maybe there's a short in the sun. dinosquirrels! that's what it's all about! the dinosquirrels chew through the sun's wiring and the big dog in the sky comes and chases them away! it all makes perfect sense now!

well, the sun is fixed and i got some trees and mailboxes to reclaim. gtg.

Dr. Who Me?

my name not spartacus. this past week i joined a super secret club. it's so secret i can't tell you who's in it. my fambly is in it. i'm also not allowed to tell you who the president of the club is, but let's just say it's my little big sister, Cookie. we all have secret names, that's top secret too. my secret name is The Doctor. hmmm. i guess i'm not very good at this secret keeping stuff. i'm a dog.

i can't tell you the name of the club, but i can give you a little hint; it's called the N.I.A. club which stands for Nature Is Awesome.
dang i'm doing it again! we get together and vote on stuff and hang out in Cookie's room and there's a secret knock and everything and somebody stop me!!!!!

i love the club because everyone is crammed into Cookie's room all together and i get all excited and guess what! i'm the vice president!!! ...unless i get impeached for this blog.... i know! after you read this, delete it!


p.s.
my cat is the only one in the house who's not in the club. she has her own club and she's the only member...

bye bye birdie

my name spartacus. member that bird toy my mommy bought me a little while back?





that's right!

things are ruff all over!

my name spartacus. i been real busy the last couple of weeks. first, Honey, my biggest sister got sick and i had to cure her and then my mommy got sick with something they call "new monia". i don't know what the old monia was like, but this new monia is serious stuff. mommy couldn't get out of bed and she was so sick she didn't even try to eat her vomit (come to think of it; my fambly never tries to eat their vomit. that's weird). i felt so bad for her.

i cuddled and laid by her as much as canine-ily possible and all my hard work eventually paid off, but she took her sweet time getting better. she's better now, but the new monia is not completely gone. i gots more work to do.

also last week my sisters and daddy didn't have to leave the house every morning and were home a lot. it was awesome! i ate bacon and i didn't even have to steal it! we stayed up late while they stared out the magic window and we slept late and played and walked. my daddy worked on the yard which makes me run around like a crazy mad dog. i don't know why i get so excited, but running is fun!

then they went back to the growing factory (except for daddy obviously - i don't know where he goes, but i know it aint there).

we had a blast and i don't know why they don't do it more often. ")"