bite club or b-day showers or new kid in the flock

my name spartacus.  i was taking my afternoon walk mindin' my own business peeing on other peepole's stuff when all of a sudden i hear a door open and this little...thing.. came charging at me!  some new peepole moved into our street and their dog escaped like i do sometimes except i don't go looking for a fight.

he was littler than me and i'm not sure what breed, but i think he used to be white.  he was in need of a bath even for a dog.   just sayin'...    anyway, his bark was bigger than his (slang word for testicles here) cause he was free and wouldn't make his move.  as for me, the alpha male came outta me that i didn't know was there.  i was like a dog Hulk (don't make me angry) and my daddy had to hold me back and yell at me.  i haven't been in a fight since.... no, that was a dream.... wait..... hmmmmm.....ever?  well i was ready to dance and i've had my shots!  let's do this!

but his brother (?) came and got him and carried him away in his arms like a little baby puppy.  pol! (panting out loud)  so that's the almost fight i got into.


it's been a busy time for the fambly lately.  remember it was just Cookie's birthday?  and before that was aunt maria's birthday. well guess what! it was just Honey's birthday too!  i can always tell when it's somebody's birthday cause there's cake and fire and they sing Happy Birthday.  Honey turned 91.  mommy calls this age, "teenager".  mommy is not what you'd call a math magician.

and guess what!  in between my sister's birthdays i had a new human cousin.  my aunt Siobain and Uncle Jason (Augie's parents) had an anomaly - the first boy on my mommy's side of the fambly except for me and Augie, but i don't know if that counts.  i'm very excited for them and i can't wait to smell him!   ")"

birthday Cookie

my name spartacus.  today is my little big sister's birthday!  i can't believe she is 63 already.  just yesterday she was 56!  if i remember correctly there will be cake and i may even be offered a taste on purpose.  i always feel a little bad when i have to resort to stealing....but i get over it.

this morning was so exciting.  My Aunt Maria (gigi's mother - see "sgt yorkie") left surprise gifts and there was singing and everything.  i got excited and grabbed a ball and ran around and jumped on the bed, but didn't get any takers.  they had to get ready for to go and stuff.  that's okay,  i can just chew on this pillow and send a little message...

happy birthday Cookie!  here is a picture my mommy took of my little big sister....

the dog of thunder

my name spartacus. yesterday he came back again; that big dog in the sky who barks and pees on everything. and he peed a lot this time. i'm gonna have to go out and reclaim everything. when the big dog comes, daddy calls it a "thunder storm". he's always making stuff up like that, but it's cute when he tries to understand nature.

the big dog kinda scares me, but i didn't need a pill this time cause daddy brought my sisters home early. if the big dog in the sky goes for a walk and i'm alone, i sometimes try to dig myself into the garage and my daddy gets all bent outta shape about it. what do i look like - a doorknob expert?

i still don't know what the flashing light is all about. maybe there's a short in the sun. dinosquirrels! that's what it's all about! the dinosquirrels chew through the sun's wiring and the big dog in the sky comes and chases them away! it all makes perfect sense now!

well, the sun is fixed and i got some trees and mailboxes to reclaim. gtg.

Dr. Who Me?

my name not spartacus. this past week i joined a super secret club. it's so secret i can't tell you who's in it. my fambly is in it. i'm also not allowed to tell you who the president of the club is, but let's just say it's my little big sister, Cookie. we all have secret names, that's top secret too. my secret name is The Doctor. hmmm. i guess i'm not very good at this secret keeping stuff. i'm a dog.

i can't tell you the name of the club, but i can give you a little hint; it's called the N.I.A. club which stands for Nature Is Awesome.
dang i'm doing it again! we get together and vote on stuff and hang out in Cookie's room and there's a secret knock and everything and somebody stop me!!!!!

i love the club because everyone is crammed into Cookie's room all together and i get all excited and guess what! i'm the vice president!!! ...unless i get impeached for this blog.... i know! after you read this, delete it!


p.s.
my cat is the only one in the house who's not in the club. she has her own club and she's the only member...

bye bye birdie

my name spartacus. member that bird toy my mommy bought me a little while back?





that's right!

things are ruff all over!

my name spartacus. i been real busy the last couple of weeks. first, Honey, my biggest sister got sick and i had to cure her and then my mommy got sick with something they call "new monia". i don't know what the old monia was like, but this new monia is serious stuff. mommy couldn't get out of bed and she was so sick she didn't even try to eat her vomit (come to think of it; my fambly never tries to eat their vomit. that's weird). i felt so bad for her.

i cuddled and laid by her as much as canine-ily possible and all my hard work eventually paid off, but she took her sweet time getting better. she's better now, but the new monia is not completely gone. i gots more work to do.

also last week my sisters and daddy didn't have to leave the house every morning and were home a lot. it was awesome! i ate bacon and i didn't even have to steal it! we stayed up late while they stared out the magic window and we slept late and played and walked. my daddy worked on the yard which makes me run around like a crazy mad dog. i don't know why i get so excited, but running is fun!

then they went back to the growing factory (except for daddy obviously - i don't know where he goes, but i know it aint there).

we had a blast and i don't know why they don't do it more often. ")"

my fambly is guitarded

my name spartacus. my daddy has this thing called a guitar and he recently brought home guitars for the whole fambly - or else one of his guitars had a litter. do you know what a guitar is? here is a picture of it in case you never seen one.

i can't tell if a guitar is alive or not. it doesn't move by itself, but it smells like a tree and it sings when you pet it. when it falls down it gets mad and goes, "GRRRRRRRRRR!" i think that's a growl, but i don't speak guitar. sometimes i accidentally pet the guitar with my tail and it sings to me when i do that. just like my sisters!

but guitars are a mystery to me. they rarely eat and they never ask to go outside and i haven't found guitar poop anywhere. my dog brain hurts. gtg...