i did try my best to get it off on the grass, but i guess he didn't see that. so when he called me in i thought i'd try on the rug to get more friction action going. like the rest of you, we see rugs a bit differently than peepole. for us a rug is a nice place to lay down and/or toilet paper. so i started my boot scootin' boogie across the rug and i hear guess what....that's right - "HEY!"
daddy sent me back outside and i tried again on the grass, but this was one stubborn dangler. i don't know if he forgot something in there or what, but he wouldn't budge. finally daddy gave up and called me in. then, to my delight, he had to get a paper towel and get it off by hand. if dogs could giggle i would've have been in so much trouble.
as you might expect, my dangler inspired me to write a poem:
ode to the dangler by spartacus
it hangs from my tail neither circle nor square
but it's what i would call rectangler.
cause it's stuck to my rectum and it's swinging around
did you guess what i have is a dangler?
no marching parade. no fireworks popping.
no fan fair, no stars and no spangles.
no one is proud you're the family dog
when you've got a bad case of the dangles.
i've tried on the grass. i've tried on the rug,
but i'm not what you'd call a poop wrangler.
i'm sorry to ask, but i need a sure hand
to help with one obstinate dangler.
you act like i'm rabid or cujo or such.
or like i'm that hockey masked mangler.
i'm still just your dog, your most bestest of buds,
but now with a big scary dangler!
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