Wednesday, August 17, 2011

to kill a flamingo bird

my name spartacus. mommy brought home a new toy for me yesterday. i think it was yesterday. it was when the sun was going out last. anyway she got me a rubber pink flamingo. it - is - AWESOME!! when you squeeze it, it farts! it's like a high pitched whistle fart. the only problem is that it doesn't smell like a fart, but that's ok; it's still really cool.

i took it out back and pretended it was a squirrel and i showed mommy what i would do to a squirrel if i ever got a hold of one. she thought i was kissing it. no way! i was mauling it! i hope some squirrels were watching. "you see this, squirrels?! that's right!"

i love my new toy! thanks mommy! play with me!

here are some pictures of my killer attacking method. warning: these pictures may be too intense for small rodents.




Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Sgt. Yorkie

my name spartacus. you remember my awesome cousin Gigi? she came to visit me during my semi-retirement. she lived with me for a while and during that time she was the owner of the house. she is an alpha female and she would yell at me alot. she's a little Yorkie, but i'm not sure what she's been told she is and she's not high enough for mirrors.

anyway, when she lived here i would bug her to play and she would yell at me which was fun for me. she would sleep on my big pillow and eat my food and i thought that was very thoughtful of her. but she also had some annoying habits. like she would get mad if anybody left the house and yell at them until the door closed and then she would get mad at them for coming home! that was confusing and kinda scary.

but i loved having her around and sometimes she would forget her image and start playing with me and reveal she was a dog after all; and by the way, her poop does stink.

so when she came over, she yelled at me, snapped at me and stole my pillow and it was great! just like old times.

i wish my mommy would let me get a puppy.