the (not so) great escape!

my name spartacus. the other human day my daddy took me for a walk. my sisters came with me on their bicycles. it was a nice day and i was having a great time choking myself and peeing on stuff (dog Facebooking, if you will).

then about halfway back, around the time i'm running outta gas, my daddy stopped to pick up sumpin that fell over into the street. it was a long pole with a circle pole on the top and then a net hanging from the circle pole. i don't know what this is used for, but i'm scared of it. i know it's not alive on accounta the smell of it, but it don't look right and it scared me when my daddy went close to it and lifted it up. (dog tip: if you don't know what sumpin is then it's best to be scared of it. don't be afraid to be afraid of stuff)

so i jerked back and after i did, i noticed a collar on the ground. when i saw it i thought, hey, i got a collar just like that... and hey, it's attached to a leash just like my daddy uses...and hey, the leash is attached to a daddy just like mine... wait a minute! that's my daddy! and that's my collar! why is my daddy walking the collar without me in it?

everyone froze. they were waiting for me to realize what had happened and, at the same time, hoping i wouldn't. it was like they were afraid the slightest movement would set off a bomb. daddy was a silent statue. my sisters balanced delicately on their bicycles. the world stopped and all eyes were on me and my next move.

i wasn't sure what to do, myself. i didn't want to waste such an opportunity, but i was on fumes. when will i learn to pace myself! my daddy started talking real sweet to me and that's when i knew i had him where i wanted him. spent or not, he couldn't catch me if he was on rollerblades and i had three broken legs and dragging a dead dinosquirrel.

so i figured i would stay just outta reach until i got my second wind. but i'm addicted to dog Facebook. i got caught up in a cat posting and before i could take a breather, he grabbed me and it was all over.

it is a long walk home after letting such a golden opportunity slipped through my paws; tail between my legs, figuratively and literally at the same time. i had let down my fellow canines. this one will sting for a while and, wait! i know that smell! the golden lab posted ! awesome!

oh happy day!

tag my butt!

my name spartacus. i invented a new game today. speaking of days, i decided that this 12 moon cycle i am gonna learn what peepole name times. like when the sun goes up and then comes down once; that's called a day. peepole are so obsessed with time they even name the days. today's name is friday. but they could only think of seven names and they just use them over and over again which is kinda boring. i would name a day spartacus!

speaking of me, i invented a new game friday; it's called, touch my butt. the object of the game is to touch my butt. that sounds simple when i look at it in human words, but i'm superfast and it's not easy. here's the rules: i run, you chase me and try to touch my butt. it's awesome!

my daddy and sisters get real outta breath and they can only touch my butt when i'm not paying attention which happens when i forget we're playing.

the microwave dinged! something may fall! gtg!

greatest blog ever!

my name spartacus. i've had the craziest week ever. sit back and prepare your frontal lobe; i'm about to blog your mind. you won't even believe what happened! it all started one morning when....wait! do you smell that? THE DOORBELL! GTG!!