the (not so) great escape!

my name spartacus. the other human day my daddy took me for a walk. my sisters came with me on their bicycles. it was a nice day and i was having a great time choking myself and peeing on stuff (dog Facebooking, if you will).

then about halfway back, around the time i'm running outta gas, my daddy stopped to pick up sumpin that fell over into the street. it was a long pole with a circle pole on the top and then a net hanging from the circle pole. i don't know what this is used for, but i'm scared of it. i know it's not alive on accounta the smell of it, but it don't look right and it scared me when my daddy went close to it and lifted it up. (dog tip: if you don't know what sumpin is then it's best to be scared of it. don't be afraid to be afraid of stuff)

so i jerked back and after i did, i noticed a collar on the ground. when i saw it i thought, hey, i got a collar just like that... and hey, it's attached to a leash just like my daddy uses...and hey, the leash is attached to a daddy just like mine... wait a minute! that's my daddy! and that's my collar! why is my daddy walking the collar without me in it?

everyone froze. they were waiting for me to realize what had happened and, at the same time, hoping i wouldn't. it was like they were afraid the slightest movement would set off a bomb. daddy was a silent statue. my sisters balanced delicately on their bicycles. the world stopped and all eyes were on me and my next move.

i wasn't sure what to do, myself. i didn't want to waste such an opportunity, but i was on fumes. when will i learn to pace myself! my daddy started talking real sweet to me and that's when i knew i had him where i wanted him. spent or not, he couldn't catch me if he was on rollerblades and i had three broken legs and dragging a dead dinosquirrel.

so i figured i would stay just outta reach until i got my second wind. but i'm addicted to dog Facebook. i got caught up in a cat posting and before i could take a breather, he grabbed me and it was all over.

it is a long walk home after letting such a golden opportunity slipped through my paws; tail between my legs, figuratively and literally at the same time. i had let down my fellow canines. this one will sting for a while and, wait! i know that smell! the golden lab posted ! awesome!

oh happy day!