you've got hail

my name spartacus. yesterday a weird thing happened. ice cubes fell from the sky! have you ever seen anything like that? my daddy called it, "hail". when ice cubes fall from the refrigerator they are called, "ice cubes". when they fall from the sky they are called, "hail".

my daddy was looking out the back door and he goes, "those are awfully big rain drops. and they're hard too. they're bouncing off the grass. hey girls! it's hailing!" so we all went outside and watched it bounce off each others heads. at first it looked like they were popping out of the ground and my daddy and sisters laughed at me cause i got excited and jumped at them like i would when i chase a ball or sumpin. then i chewed them a little the same as i do with the ice cubes that fall from the refrigerator.

it's strange to see ice fall from the sky but i figured out how it works. you see there is a gigantic refrigerator in heaven and when an angel or somebody gets ice for a drink, they sometimes drop some too just like peepole do when they use their mortal ice makers. isn't science fascinating?!

i think they should call it "haiven" instead of "hail". somebody's getting ice! gtg!

how to greet your mother

my name spartacus. the other day i had to show my whole fambly how they're supposed to greet mommy when she comes home from beyond the door. i don't know where she goes (or where any of them go) but i know she comes home late and she has to go away sometimes on the days she's supposed to not have to go (i know this cause she has the same not go days as my sisters most of the time except on the days she has to go anyway. capiche?). anyway, when she gets home, she's carrying a bunch of stuff and she looks tired. the thing is, i would greet her the way i do anyway because she's my mommy, but this is just an example of why she deserves it.

you prolly do this too, but here's what i had to show my fambly to do...

first you gotta be at the door and ready for her when she walks in. this will show her that you are so happy she's home, you just couldn't wait. to do this you have to have one ear always tuned into cars and car doors. you also have to know when it's her car and not one of your suspicious looking neighbors - likely up to no good.

when she opens the door you are right there wagging your tail with an exclamation point. then you gently get up on your hind legs and lean on her so you can give her a hug. she will say, "hi" and pet you and stuff and then you give her the original french kiss.

then you grab something, anything, and you walk around in circles crying because you're beside yourself with joy. (or maybe that's just me)

and that's how you greet your mother when she gets home (my sisters too. even my daddy.). this way the first thing she does when she gets home - no matter how crummy her day might have been - is smile.

adoption story part III

my name spartacus. that was the name my first fambly gave me. my new daddy liked it and wanted to keep it my name. i was glad on accounta i didn't wanna become a "Tuffy" or a "Prince" or a "Bingo". i know that my daddy always wanted to name a dog, "The Beatles". Whew!

so they brought me to my new home in my new van. they let me check the place out and then when i made my final decision to take the place i naturally peed on it. this was against one of their zillions of rules. top of the list i would say. they threw a barrage of "no's" at me and took me out back. ok, no peeing in the house. got it. no digging holes here either?! check. no chewing my sisters' toys; check. no tearing up door frames; oops. no stealing food; working on it. and on and on. rules for everything!

they took me to the dogtor and she told them that the terrier part of me was boston. then, as i told you before she found where someone had inscribed, "1 year old" on one of my teeth.

so everything was great. my sisters are awesome and i was getting lots of love from my new fambly. i got my own bed (which i'm nice enough to share with my mommy and daddy) i was comfortable and happy and off of death row. i even had my own cat! could it get any awesomer?!

then, one day, my daddy took me for a ride. it wasn't to my regular dogtor; it was a different dogtor that i didn't know. well one minute he's checking me out and being all nice to me and then next thing i know, i'm waking up wearing the cone of shame and a pain where my boys....use to be! Ahhhh! there's been a mistake! what did you do with them? what did you want with them?!! i've heard about this kinda thing. are you gonna sell them?! wait till my daddy gets here! put them back or you're gonna get such a smack with the paper! (my daddy doesn't smack me with the paper anymore because the entire fambly would yell at him)

when my daddy got there...he paid them!?! this was the plan?! to this day i don't know why they had to go, but apparently it was part of the deal so i don't hold it against them. when i thought about it; i had swapped a small cage, possible put down and two testicles for a loving fambly, a new house, car, free food, a/c, toys, a cat and her litter box. not a bad trade off and i'd do it again even knowing what was coming, but still...

anyway i soon settled in and got over my shyness. i still get in trouble once in a while, but everyone says i'm a good boy. and me and my fambly are living happily ever after.

the end...

well that's my rags to riches story. now here i am writing my own blog. sorry it took so long, but those naps aren't gonna take themselves. speaking of which... gtg!

p.s.

i am lucky i got a second chance. i am very happy with my fambly. be sure and tell your peepole to tell other peepole to adopt instead of buy and give some other good boy or girl a second chance like i got. tell them to check out petsmart or local pounds or aspca.org

adoption story part II

my name spartacus. so this nice pretty lady was looking at me through the bars and saying i was a handsome boy. i thought, in my dog brain, "ok. i'm listening. go on..." she called over the rest of the fambly; my future daddy and two sisters. my future daddy and i eyed each other suspiciously. my future sisters "oooo'd" and "awed" me, but they wanted a puppy. hmmm... i hope that nice lady is in charge.

they asked if they could take me out of my portable prison cell. so the warden let me out and they approached me cautiously (especially future daddy). my future sisters liked me, but they were peepole puppies. so they liked me the way peepole puppies will like any dog. they had their heart set on a puppy.

my future daddy said sumpin like, "yes he's a handsome boy, but he looks like he could have some pit bull in him and i don't want a pit bull cause of the girls." so they asked the warden if i was pit bull any. she said she thought i wasn't, but she didn't know what i was except for the boxer part.

so my future mommy and daddy talked about it and in the mean time i tried to look sad and be friendly and not pee on them.

it worked! between mommy's insistence and me holding my water, the next thing i know, they're signing papers and i'm going for a car ride with my new fambly! my "current" mommy, daddy and sisters!

to be continued....