how to greet your mother

my name spartacus. the other day i had to show my whole fambly how they're supposed to greet mommy when she comes home from beyond the door. i don't know where she goes (or where any of them go) but i know she comes home late and she has to go away sometimes on the days she's supposed to not have to go (i know this cause she has the same not go days as my sisters most of the time except on the days she has to go anyway. capiche?). anyway, when she gets home, she's carrying a bunch of stuff and she looks tired. the thing is, i would greet her the way i do anyway because she's my mommy, but this is just an example of why she deserves it.

you prolly do this too, but here's what i had to show my fambly to do...

first you gotta be at the door and ready for her when she walks in. this will show her that you are so happy she's home, you just couldn't wait. to do this you have to have one ear always tuned into cars and car doors. you also have to know when it's her car and not one of your suspicious looking neighbors - likely up to no good.

when she opens the door you are right there wagging your tail with an exclamation point. then you gently get up on your hind legs and lean on her so you can give her a hug. she will say, "hi" and pet you and stuff and then you give her the original french kiss.

then you grab something, anything, and you walk around in circles crying because you're beside yourself with joy. (or maybe that's just me)

and that's how you greet your mother when she gets home (my sisters too. even my daddy.). this way the first thing she does when she gets home - no matter how crummy her day might have been - is smile.