random thoughts

my name spartacus. today 'I'm attending to Honey cause she's home sick. i have a helper now though. my cat is my helper. it's kinda like she's the nurse and i'm the dogtor. only i can't think of a clever name to combine cat and nurse so i just call her cat. so she sits next to Honey when i need to stretch my legs or go for a vomit or sumpin.

speaking of Honey being sick; used tissues are quite a treat if you can get them.

cat food is good. also it makes me vomit and that's like a kind of bonus to it. so really you get to eat it twice. some things are worth getting yelled at for.

i'm not sure if i blogged about this before, but i know a good way to get cold cuts. wait till your fambly is about to leave and ask to be let out. then go out to the middle of the yard and just sit there. when they realize you're not doing anything productive and have no intention of coming back in, they bring out the cold cuts to get you back in so they can leave. they will bribe you with turkey, chicken and even salami and pastrami. it's even better if it's cold and rainy outside cause when they see you sitting there miserable and shivering, they feel sorry for you and maybe you can get a hot dog or sumpin. it's worth it and you know how i hate the rain. try it!

i know how to play a game called "Quit it!" no, it's not where you do sumpin to annoy your father on purpose; it's a game where i'm called the "Golden Snitch" (i guess that's a new dog breed) and my fambly chases me around and who ever can catch me and get my toy from me wins. the first time we played my sisters rode on brooms, but now they just chase me without brooms. i like it cause i like any game where i'm being chased. you could chase me and call it, "Lettuce" and i would still like it.

vacuum cleaners suck!

Honey coughed! where is that nurse - cat?! gtg!

the longest b-day

my name spartacus. my birthday is from january 1 through february 28. this is on accounta nobody human knows when my actual b-day is on accounta i'm twice adopted (see adoption story, episodes I, II and III - not available in 3-D)

anyhow, if my dogtor is right, i'm about 35 dog years old. i'm still real playful and i like dog food, cat poop and dead flesh. i don't like sweets or veggies. so you can get me a toy or a hamburger (or a toy hamburger) or sumpin (don't get me cat poop cause it will get me in trouble).

so happy birthday to me! you better hurry and send me your b-day sentiments; only a couple weeks left of my b-day!

the cat is scratching in the litter box! oh kitty, you shouldn't have! gtg!

the pick up spartacus

my name spartacus. lately my daddy has been taking me with him and Cookie to pick up Honey when she gets done with what ever it is she does during the day.

when he takes me it makes my sisters real happy. Cookie says, "Yea!" and she wants to put the leash on me. then i go a little nutso and when we get in the car Cookie tells my daddy to roll the window down for me. if there is anything better than having the wind gushing into your face at a million miles an hour please let me know!

we get to this big ginormous house where they keep all the kids like Honey. we park and wait until they break free. i think it must be a coordinated plan cause first there is a mass breakout and then they all run to the get away cars waiting for them and high tail it outta there. the best part is when Honey sees me. i always see her first and wag my tail and then when she sees me she becomes happy no matter how bad a day she's had. she smiles real big and says, "Hi Spartacus!" real excited. i make her happy.

i have a theory about this big house: you know how your brothers and sisters keep getting bigger, but you never see them grow? you see where i'm going with this? that's why they're gone all day! all the peopole puppies go to the big house every day to be stretched! they stretch them until they can't take it anymore and then they break out.

so this is how peepoles get bigger. this is also why no one wants to get up in the morning. i just can't figure out how the parents work into this. i don't know where they go when they leave, but i do know the mommies and daddies help them get away.

anyway, they call these big houses school and that's what they do there. i don't thinks it's right. i want them to stay little. they should do what my daddy did; i bet he missed a LOT of school.

time to break out Honey! gtg!