my name spartacus; i live in a wonderful little house; i have everything i need; i am safe and happy here; my fambly loves me; i love my fambly and i am constantly trying to escape.
don't ask me why. maybe you do it too, but i'm always on the look out for a chance to make a break for it. most of the time (by "most of the time" i mean always) when i do get out i'm not sure what to do next. so i do what comes natural; i run, pee and smell.
i get out in lots of different ways, but i tricked my daddy good this one time not long ago. my daddy knows i don't like to go out in the rain. so when it's raining he's not as cautious about holding open the front door when i'm standing there, right? well he forgot to think like a dog which means to think only one step at a time.
so it's raining and he's holding the door open on accounta my mommy and sisters where goin somewhere. on one paw it's raining; on the other paw i have a chance to make a complete fool of my daddy. no contest! out i go!
"spartacus!"
like that's gonna stop me.
and what do i do? i run straight into the van my mommy and sisters are getting in because - it's raining.
i'm a dog.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Monday, October 15, 2012
house arrest
my name spartacus. the other day my biggest sister, Honey, had a friend spend the night. it's always exciting to have a visitor, but not this visitor. this visitor has a fear of dogs. i believe the technical term for this is; chomp-o-phobia.
scared of me! if only she knew me. but i gotta admit i was a little proud of it too. but i didn't get to say hello or smell her or anything.
so once again i got punished for crimes yet committed. i was sentenced to an evening in the bedroom. no chance for parole or time off for good behavior. the warden (mommy) gave me an armed (her right one) escort for my pee breaks.
the thing is, when mommy is in bed for the evening, that's where i wanna be too. but now that i wasn't allowed out of the room, i really really wanted to get out of the room. the grass is always greener - especially when there's a visitor!
by the time i was released the next morning it was too late. the mysterious visitor was gone. i smelled what i could, but it was no use.
it's too bad she didn't get to meet me. i'm a good boy. five minutes with me and i woulda shown her dogs are awesome! i woulda cured her for sure!
my name dogtor spartacus! ")"
scared of me! if only she knew me. but i gotta admit i was a little proud of it too. but i didn't get to say hello or smell her or anything.
so once again i got punished for crimes yet committed. i was sentenced to an evening in the bedroom. no chance for parole or time off for good behavior. the warden (mommy) gave me an armed (her right one) escort for my pee breaks.
the thing is, when mommy is in bed for the evening, that's where i wanna be too. but now that i wasn't allowed out of the room, i really really wanted to get out of the room. the grass is always greener - especially when there's a visitor!
by the time i was released the next morning it was too late. the mysterious visitor was gone. i smelled what i could, but it was no use.
it's too bad she didn't get to meet me. i'm a good boy. five minutes with me and i woulda shown her dogs are awesome! i woulda cured her for sure!
my name dogtor spartacus! ")"
Monday, October 8, 2012
a new leash on life
my name spartacus. during the hot time when the sun gets mad, my fambly lost my leash. so i went a long time without a walk and i was only able to pee in the back yard. if peeing on a walk is dog face booking then peeing in my own back yard is like dog my space. that's no fun.
even when it gets real hot i want to go on my walks. there's pee to smell and places to pee on.
well finally, one day, they came home with a new leash and i flipped out. i went right out for a walk and peed my tail off! i peed so much i was walking down the street on three legs. so i caught up a little, posted as much as i could and reclaimed most of my stuff.
i didn't realize how important my leash was until it was lost. i was like a hermit who lost his leash.
i'm gonna drink up and sit by the door. gotta make up for lost time. gtg!
even when it gets real hot i want to go on my walks. there's pee to smell and places to pee on.
well finally, one day, they came home with a new leash and i flipped out. i went right out for a walk and peed my tail off! i peed so much i was walking down the street on three legs. so i caught up a little, posted as much as i could and reclaimed most of my stuff.
i didn't realize how important my leash was until it was lost. i was like a hermit who lost his leash.
i'm gonna drink up and sit by the door. gotta make up for lost time. gtg!
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