i'm a baaaaaaaad booooooyyyyy...

my name spartacus and i am a trashaholic. the thing is, if you leave half eaten peepole food in an open trash bag and the bag is outside of the trash can and just sitting there on the floor, open and calling to me and all the peepoles are asleep, if you do that then you have condemned me to gluttony and you are an accomplice. also, in my defense, i had emptied my bowl earlier and my daddy had yet to go get me more of my food... wait - i did this actually after he got me more food and my bowl was embarrassingly full so scratch that.

i knew what i was doing was wrong while i was doing it, but i couldn't stop myself. it's like when i steal food. i just do it without thinking (which is pretty much how i approach everything i do) and then afterwards i feel completely... satisfied. since i wasn't caught in the act i thought i had gotten away with one, but in the morning i heard, "SPARTACUS!" in my daddy's tone that is never followed by a belly rub or a treat. so i slowly walk away. perhaps there is another spartacus here abouts. i'll help you find him. i'll check under the desk.

but how did he know?! aaahhh! the trash i dragged out! it's still there where i left it! but how does he know it was me?! he's good. too good...

well, after i got caught and was yelled at, i was properly ashamed. i ducked my head and wagged my tail with admission and regret of my sin. the sooner and more convincingly i do this the sooner i am forgiven and free to go about my business. and each time we are both satisfied i learned my lesson and i will never do it again. ")"