adoption story part I

my name spartacus. as far as i know, that's always been my name. that was my name when my fambly adopted me somewhere between two weeks and 21 years ago. if you read my blog, you know i'm not good with time and numbers. but here's what happened...

i don't remember much about my life before i was adopted. i don't know if i had a boxer daddy and a boston terrier mama or vice versa. either way it's a disturbing image. anyway when my fambly took me to the dogtor after they adopted me, that's what she said i was; a boxer and a boston terrrier at the same time. then she looked at my teeth and said i was a year old so i guess your age is written on your teeth somewhere.

i don't remember my dog sisters and brothers and i don't really remember my first peepole fambly. i'm sure i would know them if i smelled them. they gave me up for adoption. i'm not positive why, but i think it had to do with my chewing. peepole seem to be pretty smart to me. they know how long a day is, they build stuff, they know where to find food, etc... it seems like knowing that puppies chew shouldn't surprise any of them. so i guess i chewed the wrong thing or one thing too many and they gave me up. oh and i guess they didn't care for my landscaping in the backyard. i must say though that i am grateful they gave me a second chance giving me a shot at another fambly.

when a fambly gives you up they take you to this place called a pound. i don't know why they call it that or who they are, but i hear things. they put you in jail, but the guards are nice. i got the feeling they really wanted to take care of you and were rooting for you. then once in a while they would take some of us in cages to a store and let peepoles look at us. the peepoles would look at us, pet us and go, "awwwwee!" and then sumpin awesome happened. if they liked you enough they would take you out and if you got extra lucky, they wouldn't put you back in. they would take you with them! and then, after a while they would take the rest of us back to jail.

so every time they took us out we realized that was our chance to find a home. so we would give each other advice on how to act or what expression to wear to try and get picked. we all tried to help each other. then came my turn. the fateful day when i met my mommy, daddy and my sisters, Honey and Cookie. we were in the store in our cages when i heard, "handsome boy" for the first time. i thought, "please let me be handsome. please!" and i was! mommy came right to my cage and she was talking to me!

to be continued....

the mother of all magic windows

my name spartacus. guess what. i saw the biggest magic window ever. you can't believe it. you know how i tole you about the magic window and how much peepole love to look at it? well my fambly went to look at the mother of all magic windows and they took me with them!

we all got into my mini-van and i was excited even though i didn't know where we were going. i never know where we are going, but i'm always excited to go. so we drove and drove and drove and drove until i was like, "ok, this seems pointless. how about we stop, get out and pee on stuff?" but we kept on driving and driving and driving. i think my mommy was tired of driving too cause she was yelling at my daddy and i was like, "yes! get him to stop." i wanted to find a rolled up newspaper to give to her, but i didn't see one. most of the time i sat on my biggest sister Honey's lap and looked out the window; at all the lost opportunities...

finally, right around the time the sun fell to the earth, we got to where they were going: the edge of the world; also known as, GRANBURY. we got into a long line of cars waiting to get into, what i realized later, was some sort of temple.

so after a wait of about forever, we finally got in and there was nothing in there but a bunch of cars! it was just a big dumb parking lot. and it wasn't even "in" there. we were still outside. we parked and while i was staring at a fence and thinking, "we drove all that way for this?", the fambly went to the back of the van. mommy tole daddy to walk me and that's when i saw what i thought was just a gigantic wall. i should've knew there was more to it by the way everyone was facing it and staring at it expectantly. i didn't think about it at the time because i needed to find the right spot to stake my claim on the place. from what i could smell, other dogs came here too and they would need to know that i was here and was the new owner.

so by this time it was all the way night and when we got back to the van i was eager to have a good look around at all the dogs and their peepole now that i had successfully diversified my realty holdings. then, all of a sudden, a light came from the direction that all the peepoles were looking. i looked up and you can't even believe what i saw. the big wall had turned into a ginormous magic window! it was bigger than a house! IT - WAS - AWESOME!

so this is why our famblies leave the house everyday. they come to the edge of the world and look out of the mega magic window. and just like at home, they sit there and stare at it and eat in front of me. and just like at home, i quickly lost interest in it. how can you just sit there when there are all those hineys to sniff?! once they fell under it's spell i didn't know what to do with myself. when i was inside the van i wanted to get out and when i was out i wanted back in. one time i even sat up front to see if the van would go, like when my parents sit there, but it didn't work. i guess you need thumbs or sumpin.

they walked me a couple times so i could settle down and it helped. but for the most part all i could do was lay down with my daddy until the service was over. i was a little disappointed i didn't get to meet more dogs and their famblies.

well i could tell my sisters had a great time and so did my mommy and that is enough to make my tail wag. my daddy fell asleep which seemed disrespectful. when the sermon was over, the window turned back into a wall and everybody started leaving. my sisters fell asleep on the journey home. my daddy stayed awake cause he was driving and my mommy stayed awake cause my daddy was driving.

it was an interesting night to say the least, but i wish i could've gotten around a bit more. still, how many can say, "i've been to the edge of the world and peed on it."?

")"

garbage in, gourmet out

my name spartacus. i like food. and though my definition of food is very broad - VERY broad - i must warn you about something. cat food. cat food is a trick. if you can get to it, it is very tasty and worth getting yelled at, but you pay for it eventually even if you get away with it.

cat food gives me the worst tummy aches ever. even the kitty litter doesn't do that to my tummy. and i'm pretty sure cats make their food do that on purpose. the problem is i keep forgetting what it does to me and i keep eating it when my daddy has a lapse and it's not out of my reach. but what else can i do? my food is good, but it's the only thing ever in my bowl. usually i'm like , "dog food! sweet!", but sometimes i need a change.

that's why anything that is or ever was considered food is good enough for me. hey, that gives me an idea. i guess the secret to eating cat food without getting sick is to let the cat eat it first. ")" <--that's a tail wag

so try that and let me know how it works out for ya.

the roof that time forgot

my name spartacus. today was weird and awesome and then not so awesome and regular. first off all i was stumped cause i haven't been able to cure my mommy. i didn't understand because i had cured everyone else, but for some reason i couldn't cure her. then, as she was making more of her alligator/moose calls, it suddenly hit me right between the eyes. it's her mating season! here i was all this time trying to heal her. i'm such a dope!

then, after mommy got back from taking my sisters to work, all these noises started coming from the roof. right away i guessed the squirrels were back. but these were no ordinary squirrels, let me tell you. by the sound of the banging and pounding they must have been as big as the min-van! each squirrel! giant dinosaur squirrels! and by the sound of it, they were going to smash and eat the whole house! i suddenly realized something. i turned to mommy and thought at her, "do you realize what you've done?!" mommy had inadvertently attracted the giant dinosaur squirrels with her crazy alligator/moose call!

meanwhile the dinosquirrels where pounding away and something had to be done. i couldn't get out of the house and i couldn't get up into the attic. daddy was dog knows where, i couldn't use the phone or get mommy to understand like with the alien.... "of course! that's it!", i thought. i remembered my special bark that i discovered against the giant alien slobber monster. the one where it seemed like i was scared, but wasn't. it was our only chance. so i barked apprehensively like last time; careful to get it just right. but the noise didn't stop! it didn't work! oh no! the house was sure to collapse any minute! now what?!

then my daddy finally got home. he walked into the house like it was any other day - the fool. he thought i was excited to see him, but i was trying to get him to understand what should've been obvious; there were dinosquirrels in our attic! helllooooo! then, as if he read my mind, he got the leash and strapped me on. i hurried him out the door and braced myself for the.... peepole on the roof? there was a bunch of peepole walking around on my roof and working on it.

i understood. my barking had worked. the dinosquirrels where chased off and the house was saved. then, when my daddy got home and saw the damage, he hired these peepole to fix it. one thing i can say about my daddy; he may be dense, but he works fast.

so i had saved my mommy again. and again she has no idea of the danger she was in. so cute. except maybe for that alligator/moose thing she's got goin on...

hope and glory

my name spartacus. today Honey and mommy stayed home cause Honey was sick again. i guess i didn't do a very good job curing her.

some good did come of it though. first of all they were home all day. yes! and then Honey threw up, but, unfortunately, she made it to the waterbowl chair. and then they flushed it! you can't believe how wasteful they can be. then mommy started gagging and i was like, "oh please. oh please!" but she never gave it up.

then daddy came home before mommy left with Honey. he went right to bed and i was like, "yes!" so peepole were home practically all day.

then daddy made Cookie two hot dogs, but she only ate one and guess what! he gave the other one to me! on purpose! i was already plotting mission hotdog, but now i don't have to come about it dishonestly after bedtime.

it was just an awesome day all around and it's not over yet. i wouldn't be surprised if a squirrel walked right in the front door!

pet names

my name spartacus, but i got alotta nicknames. do you got alotta nicknames? i do.

my mommy mostly calls me, "sparticles" and, my personal favorite, "handsome boy" (in fact, "my handsome boy" is my very first nickname and the very first thing she ever called me.). my biggest sister, Honey, calls me, "bakaboo". My little big sister, Cookie, mostly uses my real name or just says, "Aaawwwe." my peepole aunt maria calls me, "spartikey". my fambly also calls me, barkatus, particles, sparkables, spockabuh, sparky, sparkles, sportacus and practically every other possible combination of letters in my name.

my daddy has lots of terms of endearment for me. the one he uses the most is, "HEY!". this is usually followed by, "stop that!" or "shut up!". the rest of the names i prolly shouldn't print.

my fambly only uses my actual name of spartacus when they really need sumpin. like if they need me to go out before they leave or to make sure i come back in or when we're playing my favorite game of "chase me". but i guess you don't wanna go around the neighborhood yelling, "HEY! HEEEEYYYY!!"

they also use my real name at bed time. sometimes they fight over me at bed time and i love it cause there's all kinds of calling and whistling and kissie noises while they try to get me to go into their rooms. i'll stand in the hallway and enjoy the chaos while i decide on the winner. i'm the judge and the prize; much better than any electric blanket or stuffed animal.

sometimes my names are hard to keep up with, but i respond to them all. i like whatever they are calling me just as long as they are calling me.