Friday, March 11, 2011

the roof that time forgot

my name spartacus. today was weird and awesome and then not so awesome and regular. first off all i was stumped cause i haven't been able to cure my mommy. i didn't understand because i had cured everyone else, but for some reason i couldn't cure her. then, as she was making more of her alligator/moose calls, it suddenly hit me right between the eyes. it's her mating season! here i was all this time trying to heal her. i'm such a dope!

then, after mommy got back from taking my sisters to work, all these noises started coming from the roof. right away i guessed the squirrels were back. but these were no ordinary squirrels, let me tell you. by the sound of the banging and pounding they must have been as big as the min-van! each squirrel! giant dinosaur squirrels! and by the sound of it, they were going to smash and eat the whole house! i suddenly realized something. i turned to mommy and thought at her, "do you realize what you've done?!" mommy had inadvertently attracted the giant dinosaur squirrels with her crazy alligator/moose call!

meanwhile the dinosquirrels where pounding away and something had to be done. i couldn't get out of the house and i couldn't get up into the attic. daddy was dog knows where, i couldn't use the phone or get mommy to understand like with the alien.... "of course! that's it!", i thought. i remembered my special bark that i discovered against the giant alien slobber monster. the one where it seemed like i was scared, but wasn't. it was our only chance. so i barked apprehensively like last time; careful to get it just right. but the noise didn't stop! it didn't work! oh no! the house was sure to collapse any minute! now what?!

then my daddy finally got home. he walked into the house like it was any other day - the fool. he thought i was excited to see him, but i was trying to get him to understand what should've been obvious; there were dinosquirrels in our attic! helllooooo! then, as if he read my mind, he got the leash and strapped me on. i hurried him out the door and braced myself for the.... peepole on the roof? there was a bunch of peepole walking around on my roof and working on it.

i understood. my barking had worked. the dinosquirrels where chased off and the house was saved. then, when my daddy got home and saw the damage, he hired these peepole to fix it. one thing i can say about my daddy; he may be dense, but he works fast.

so i had saved my mommy again. and again she has no idea of the danger she was in. so cute. except maybe for that alligator/moose thing she's got goin on...

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