k-9 and punishment

my name spartacus. i had to go to the dogtor today. if you don't know what that is then you're lucky. the dogtor is a lady your peepole take you to as a punishment when you're not feeling good. they do things like poke you and scrape you and stick things up your butt so that by the time the punishment is over, you are so glad to be out of there you start feeling better.

the first time i went i was really excited cause, when i first walked in, it was smellorama! a veritable international bazaar of smells. it - was - AWESOME! there were other dogs there and even cats! but then a peepole took me into a little room and they started the punishment. the actual peepole are nice, but it's only to get you to let your guard down. peepole can be pretty smart- sneaky - but pretty smart...

one time i remember i was having allergies. i was scratching myself like crazy until my hair was coming out and i was bleeding. in other words, i was handling it just fine and everything was cool, right? then all of a sudden i'm in that little room and these peepole were doing all kinds of wac things to me that only peepole would think of to do.

the leader is the one the peepole call the "dogtor". i like her a real lot. she's the one who comes in and breaks it up. she always looks in my mouth to see what i've eaten and then she looks in my ears to see if i'm listening. she talks real nice to me and pets me and yells at my daddy. i like her. she's also the one who frees me.

sometimes they send my mommy or daddy home with pills to give me, but since they don't taste like anything that use to be alive, i don't like them and i spit them out and that's the end of it. it works out nicely because whenever i spit a pill out they take it away and then reward me with a piece of chicken or something...about...the size...of...THE PILL! HEY! GTG!