Tuesday, February 15, 2011

pee. s.

my name spartacus. i thought of more stuff about my peeing that maybe you can relate to. when i'm on my walk and pee on stuff it also means; this is pretty much mine now; my mailbox; my shrub; my light post; my tree; my cat and, um, sorry about that kitty...

my daddy will let me smell anything i want, but he won't let me pee on certain things like cars or flowers or sofas. when i was first adopted i didn't know there were certain things you couldn't pee on. i mean what do you do when you get a new home? you pee on it! that's exactly right! what do you do when you visit a place? YES! you pee on it!

the first time i entered my new house and peed on it my parents got all bent out of shape. (well my daddy did. usually how it works is that my daddy yells at me and my mommy yells at my daddy) my daddy got mad at me, showed it to me (like i didn't realize i just peed) and made me go outside. I'm like hello?! i just took care of that, remember? you just showed it to me! at that point i knew i wasn't dealing with a rocket scientist.

as you know, i was only claiming the place; just a little formality. like signing on the dotted line.

but i learned pretty quickly that peepole don't like it when you pee in the house unless it's in the water bowl chair. since i can't use the water bowl chair to go outside, i have to go outside to go outside. i do use it's other function as a water bowl occasionally, but i get yelled at for that too! there's water there in a bowl! why can't i drink it?! peepole have so many rules! so confusing.

before i learned the peepole pee rules, i peed everywhere and it was glorious! the first (and, as it turned out, last) time i went to my cousin auggie's house, i peed on the couch and everyone got so excited that, at first, i thought a squirrel was in the house. even my mommy got mad at me for that one. they took me to petsmart once and i peed on it. the dogtor's office - peed on it. the minivan - mine.

so there's a little heads up on the peepole pee rules in case you're newly adopted or a puppy. i know the rules pretty good now.

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